A Mum Type Of Conversation
Remember those days when you could have a whole conversation? One that was uninterrupted and meaningful? Me neither! Tell me I’m not the only one? The last few years have been full of have baked conversations where often both myself and the other person forget what we were talking about as we stop to tend to our children. Conversations broken with ‘mummy’s talking’, ‘no don’t do that’, ‘no, you can’t have that’, ‘oh dear you’ve fallen over, again’.
I used to be pretty good at multi-tasking, but having a conversation where I have to constantly break to repeat instructions to a toddler who clearly hasn’t got a clue just messes with my head. I actually get a headache.
It seems to be ok though when both parties are at the same stage with little ones, we understand each other and often start many different conversations, never actually finishing many of them. The kids will kind of play with each other too.
However if I meet up with a bunch of mums whose children are at school or don’t have children I often feel somewhat removed from the conversation. Of course they understand and don’t mind that i’m constantly abandoning the chat to stop him climbing the stairs/stop him emptying the bin/getting him another biscuit/changing his bum etc etc but I often go home feeling exhausted from mentally attempting to multi task.
Of course it can all depend on the location. If I’m in unfamiliar territory then I hardly engage in the conversation as I’m too focused on where my toddler is going and what he is getting up to and also checking if is he ok, can he break anything or hurt himself! I then wonder why I ever suggested meeting up with said person as I haven’t actually caught up with them. All I’ve done is run around after my son.
If we are at someone’s house who we know but maybe only recently met I become very conscious of what stains he might leave on their pristine cream carpet or which objects, lovely expensive looking objects he may be attracted too and decide he wants to use as a hammer. Then there are the stairs, which at present when visiting people is where I seem to spend most of my time. It’s not too bad if their stairs are separated from the room I’d like to be in by a door but in open plan houses there is no escaping this tempting mountain to climb. In fact I found myself recently looking on air B&B and commenting to my partner on a properties attractions, one of them being that the stairs looked like they were separate from the living area! Don’t get me started on kitchen cupboards. Of course I have locks on, I’ve considered donating locks to my friends because then I might actually get to talk to them instead of wrestling carpet cleaner off my son instead.
If we are in a close friend’s house, I feel less conscious. I know they don’t mind the crumb trail left behind or the conversations from the stairs and I know they have vanish gold carpet spray in their kitchen cupboard, but crikey it’s hard work.
I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s easier to invite people to me. I have a stair gate, I don’t have expensive items within easy reach, I have wood floors that don’t stain, I don’t have to rush around getting ready to go out, I have a booster seat to keep him secure at meal times, I have toys, lots of toys, everywhere…but then again I need to get out!