Starting ‘big school’.

I never thought this day would arrive. It was only a few months ago we welcomed our daughter into the world, or so it seems. How did we get here so soon? We’d been so busy over the holidays that I hadn’t really contemplated how I would feel about my little girl starting school. Or maybe I’d used distraction techniques in order not to think about it.

I had however been organised and bought all necessary school uniform items at the beginning of the holidays. There was no way I was going to leave it to the last minute, facing packed stores with a 4 year old and a baby in a pram. You’re starting ‘big school’ soon I would tell her and she would reply with an excited shriek. 

The week before the start of term it hit me, hard. My little girl was going to school full time! My little girl was going to be away from me all day, monday to friday. My little girl was going to be looking up to someone else for inspiration and guidance. My little girl is growing up way too fast. My little girl isn’t so little anymore. Please slow down. Would the teacher see how special she is the same way I do? Would she miss me at all? Will she make friends? I remind myself however, she is ready for school. She’ll make lots of friends and have lots of fun. She will be fine. I on the other hand kept crying at the merest thought or mention of school.

The new term starts on a Tuesday at her new school so I tell my daughter that Monday is her day, she can pick what we do and where we go. I help with a few suggestions and she picks Chester Zoo. Good choice, I love it there too.

We headed off to the zoo, picnic in bag (again her choice for lunch), pram loaded with coats, umbrellas and suncream! It was drizzly but at Chester Zoo you can find plenty undercover. Plenty of baby change facilities. Refreshments available at various points. Super easy to push a pram around. You could easily spend a whole day there. Later that day the sun came out. My preparation paid off, out came the suncream. I watched in admiration as my daughter played happily on the lawn with my 7 month old son. She is such a smiley girl and again I had to hold back the tears. How long will I have to wait for a day like today. No more out of school holidays fun. 

We had so much fun at the zoo and we finally got to see the jaguar. She knows this place well and that there is a shop on the way out. “Mummy can I get something?”. I felt so emotional that I could have let her have anything she wanted at that moment. But I resisted and told her she has £5 to spend. She picked a jelly centipede! 

The day arrived and off we went to school. Luckily I could use my son as a distraction and fussed over him in order to remain composed. I tried to hold back the tears as we hugged and then I waved her off into class. I had to make a quick exit as the lump in my throat got bigger and bigger. I saw my friend welling up and as we hugged I struggled to hold back. I managed to wait till she was out of sight and everyone else.

I never knew that it was possible to feel so many emotions at one time. Extremely proud, happy, sad, lost, worried and excited. I know she’ll be fine, but she’s my gorgeous little girl.

 

 

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