Is it OK to feel sorry for myself?
Well we’ve had a miserable few weeks as a family. Both children have had the dreaded Chicken Pox and then we’ve all, one after the other been hit with a stomach bug. We treasure weekends together as it’s our time to get out, explore and enjoy being a family. But the last few weekends have been something else! All in all I think my OH and I have made a good team and managed to get through it. My daughter has been a little trooper and my son bless him just rolls with it. This has spanned over about 5 weeks I think.
With Chicken Pox it’s advised to stay away from public places so not to spread to virus but I think home confinement is just terrible. It just says prison to me! Don’t get me wrong the odd day lounging around at home with little to do does appeal from time to time but when it’s enforced it feels different, it’s unfair. Simple things like going to do a small food shop is out of the question. You need to be prepared and make sure you nip out in the evening when the OH is home or ask them to pick things up on the way home from work in preparation for the next day. Playgroups and socialising is out of the question, unless you are lucky enough to have friends who’ve all had Chicken Pox and are willing to come near you.
I have to admit it, I’ve found it really hard. When Pops was throwing up and just needed someone to sit with her and cuddle up, Pud is whinging and demanding something. As we all know, toddlers don’t give up until they get what they want, then that’s not what they want. Then I felt guilty for just wanting a day off. I would clock watch until it was time for the OH to come home, just for that comfort of a joint effort.
I did venture out as each time whilst in the midst of Chicken Pox as both Pops and Pud coped really well with the spots. Pud was more irritated but if distracted, still enjoyed playing. So we did seek escapism in the forest a couple of times and what a breath of fresh air it was. Lucky for us we know the forest well and know where to find the more remote parts. It’s a bit different with vomiting though, you really are confined to the same four walls until it passes.
I can’t complain too much I’ve got some really thoughtful friends who have been invaluable. One brought us Chicken Pox remedies round when I couldn’t get out. Another brought me 4 double chocolate chip muffins to enjoy whilst one of the kids had a stomach bug. A couple of others regularly asked if we needed anything. It meant so much guys if you are reading this.
I think the tiredness and despair is beginning to show on my face though. Maybe it’s a few more wrinkles that have creased up on my face from the mega sleep disturbed nights. Could it be the bags under my eyes in a lovely shade of purply blue that have been noticed. You see, some of the school mums and my friends over the last few weeks have said to me ‘are you ok?’. Not in the usual chirpy way we greet each other but in a more concerned tone of voice.
How do I answer? ‘I’m fine’, ‘really I’m fine’, ‘just a bit tired, but I’m fine’. Was I fine? NO, I was bloody miserable. So why did’t I just say this? Why did I insist on saving face and pretending I was ok. I don’t know. I say so often to others, talk about what is bothering you. Don’t bottle up your feelings. So why did I do it?
Thankfully, I think we are back to normal now. This weekend we plan to look at motorhomes to rent for our road trip, visiting family and getting out somewhere as a family for the day. Am I asking too much for a nice weekend? I hope not!