23 Signs you are officially a mum to kids under 6.
What is it like to be a mum? A question I pondered for so long before having children. Then, I entered this new world, a world where my existence got turned upside down. My brain became muddled, my belly a wobbly mess, my backside grew larger, my house is much messier but my heart is a whole lot bigger.
Being a parent, you find yourself in some strange situations and saying and doing some crazy things. Things your pre parent self would never have considered. Here’s my take on life as a mum to young children.
You can change a nappy whilst pinning down legs and have a phone conversation at the same time
You don’t know how anyone gets by without baby wipes!
You feel guilty buying chicken nuggets and hide them under the vegetables in the shopping trolley
You suddenly find yourself unable to spell a word without mixing up phonics and normal speak.
You say ‘right, no tv for a week’ in an attempt to discipline for naughty behaviour/ not listening and give in 15 minutes later.
You panic if you haven’t got any biscuits / snacks in the cupboard.
With your first child the 3 second rule is the 3 second rule, the second child is the hoover finding rogue raisins under the sofa!
You sit in the car for up to an hour whilst they sleep because you just can’t bear the thought of moving them, waking them and suffering the wrath!
Lasting a day with clean clothes is an achievement. If you aren’t wearing snot trails or toothpaste smears by 10am then you are winning.
You feel liberated because you can dance around the kitchen throwing some shapes and actually have someone think you’re a good dancer.
You have a good excuse for jumping in muddy puddles!
You begin to hear your mother speak…
You think keeping the old sofa is a good idea as you don’t want sticky fingers ruining a new one, you tell yourself we’ll just wait a few years to get one. When in reality they’ll probably have sticky fingers until they leave home.
You sniff bums!
Every corner of your house has some form of toys in it (and dust).
You are constantly asking ‘do you need a wee?’.
You’re not allowed to sit down for more than 5 minutes.
You regularly reach 4pm and think ‘Sh*t’, there’s nothing prepared for their tea, fish fingers it is then.
You get fed up of repeating ‘front to back’.
You regularly talk to yourself and ask things of invisible beings.
You decide sleep is for the weak.
Nights out become an effort more than an excitement.
You put your keys in the fridge then spend hours looking for them.