Changing negativity to positivity

9 Easy Steps To A Positive Mind

What to do when it all gets a bit too much.

“Life is a rollercoaster” as Ronan Keating puts it, “you’ve just got to ride it”. I do think that is pretty accurate. The problem is when the going is tough it’s blumin hard to see that. Regaining a positive mind can seem pretty difficult at times but it can be done.

Sometimes life just doesn’t seem to be going the way you hoped, problems crop up big and small! Your mind becomes clouded and seeing a way forward isn’t all that easy. It can sometimes feel like you actually have the weight of the world on your shoulders. Personally, when I let things get on top of me I get headaches and spot breakouts. I binge eat food that isn’t good for me and I get incredibly cranky. I get sensory overload from the kids needing something all the time. Then I’ll raise my voice at the kids when quite frankly it isn’t called for. Then there is the added guilt that comes with shouting at your kids making you feel even worse. I can’t focus long enough to think of a solution so I retreat inwards and get no where.

Stress can take over your life.

Conversely, there are times in my life when I feel on top of the world and in those moments I feel grateful for everything I have and have had. In these moments I feel like I can achieve anything. I’m happy, smiley and feel in control of my emotions. When I’m happier, the kids are happier and I’m pretty sure the OH is too!

How do you lift yourself from the depths of despair? How do you switch from a negative state of mind to a positive one?

Here are a few things which help me. I know they may not be for everyone and some problems need more than these simple steps but they’re a good start. I really think that for any problem solving big or small the first and most important step is to STOP and BREATHE then refocus, plan and act.


#1 Use positive affirmations

Nothing beats some positive affirmations or positivity quotes. Speak it and you will believe it. Put up some positive quotes around the house in frames, make them a piece of art.

#2 Be realistic

Ask yourself ‘can I change this problem?’, ‘Is it my job/position/role to solve this problem?’, ‘Is there an actual answer?’. If the answer to these questions is ‘no’, then don’t waste your energy trying. Some things can be solved with time and effort but others simply can’t.

Sometimes all we can do is surf the wave till it reaches the shore where we can walk forward once more.

I find that I can worry about things that may or may not happen in the future, but thinking realistically – why should I waste energy worrying about something that might never happen. I should be focusing my thoughts and energy on the here and now. Lets face it, energy is in short supply when you have a young family. Focus it on what you can do, not what you can’t.

#3 Have some time out

As much as we love our family and friends we all need some time out. Time away to refocus our energy from negative to positive. This may just be an hour away or maybe a night or two away. It may be on your own, with your OH or friends. Whichever it is we all need some down time, for our mental and physical wellbeing.

#4 Go for a walk

Going for a walk can do wonders for me. Fresh air, the green and gold of nature. No pots and washing in sight, no piles of papers needing sorting. Just me (and usually the family) enjoying a good old walk. I wrote a post about bloggers favourite days out a little while ago and it came as no surprise that the overall majority told me that places outside usually amongst nature topped their list.

Get outdoors and breathe in the fresh air

#5 Down tools and write a list

You’re rushing around, losing focus and direction. Everything needs doing – NOW! No it doesn’t. What is the worst that can happen if you down tools. Stop what you are doing and write a list ( I love a good list!). Prioritise, what needs doing today and what can wait. Can any of the tasks be simplified. For example online shopping, a quick call instead of a lengthy email?

If you find it difficult getting to sleep at night because you are worrying about things you need to do then write a list down in the evening of things you need to do in the next couple of days. Put it down, read a book or watch a bit of TV and go to bed knowing that you have prioritised tasks for the next day.

#6 Get together with friends

Sometimes a girl just has to unload with good friends. Friends (and that’s you too) don’t need to have a solution, just a pair of ears to listen and pair of arms for a hug! Sometimes just talking about issues out loud can lighten the load so much. Often putting things into perspective. Don’t let mum guilt get in the way of you taking a little time out to see friends, you are allowed!

Off load with good friends to ease stress

#7 Craft

I was unsure whether to put this in, I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea but sometimes the focus needed to do craft can take your mind off whatever it is bothering you. I recently spent a couple of hours doing an advent calendar tree with my daughter and I found it so calming.

#8 Read

Sitting down with a good book, a magazine or your favourite blogs in the evening preferably with a glass of wine or a bru can again take your mind off any worries you have. It can help you unwind after a busy day. Yes there may still be a full basket of washing needing doing or a toddler that may wake any second but this is your time, the washing can wait and the toddler might not actually wake.

#9 Do some exercise

I can’t stress enough how much exercise can improve the health of your mind. It really helps you to focus and see clearly. It helps you stay positive and better at decision making. I find once a week is enough to see these benefits. Of course if it’s weight loss you’re after that requires a bit more effort! A guest post I had explains this point further.


Do you have any ways to unwind, refocus or regain a positive mind? Do you suffer from letting everything get on top of you?

Positive Mind in 9 easy steps


  1. Lovely suggestions! Sometimes I run a hot bath, chuck my pjs on the radiator then snuggle up in bed afterwards with a book and try not to think about the problems of the day. I feel fresher for it the following morning 🙂

  2. These are all really useful and helpful tips. Depression and anxiety are my crosses to bear and makes simple, everyday things and tasks so overwhelming. Thankfully, writing a blog and varying my content (some personal, some not) helps me to wind down. Thanks so much for sharing #BloggerClubUK

    • That’s one of the reasons I started blogging, I find writing pretty cathartic. It can be pretty hard refocusing when your norm has become a negative outlook. I think it’s important to take baby steps to a positive mind. Too much too soon can be overwhelming and almost feel false x

  3. Time out really helps me, my go to place is a bubble bath with a netflix programme and just chilling out. Usually after and hour or two (and a bath refill later) I’m done and ready to face the world!
    Thank you for sharing this with us at #TriumphantTales. I hope to see you back next week!

  4. I so needed to read this post as I am trying to completely overhaul my way of thinking , which has been completely ruined since having pnd, and becoming a more positive person. Time out and fresh air definitely help me and I am also a big fan of a list xx #coolmumclub

    • It can be incredibly hard to refocus when you have suffered PND, the negative thoughts almost become normality and it can be hard to actually believe in yourself but you can and you will. Just keep on believing and eventually positivity will be the norm x

  5. This is so useful! I always find ‘This also shall pass’ quite helpful. Or once a boss said to me that he always would think: “Will this matter in a year/6 months/3 months time?” Often the answer is no and this is a very good way of looking at a problem. xx #coolmumclub

  6. So very helpful. I write lists, have time out and go for walks. I also unplug from social media including laptop and phone! I must try better at the positive affirmations though.

    Ellen x

  7. Love so many of these – particularly the reading one. I’ve found lately i’m so much more relaxed if I take time out of just reading blogs (or books by bloggers!) and read something totally off topic from being a Mum.
    Thanks for these reminders!
    x MMT #Coolmumclub

  8. Number two is something that I learnt whilst doing CBT for anxiety. Sometimes I manage it, sometimes I don’t. But it’s all a learning curve. Crafting is an excellent idea! Reading sometimes doesn’t work for me if I’m overly worried about something. Some great tips here though that will help lots of people! Thank you for linking this to #DreamTeam.

  9. Getting out for a walk is a key one for me. I do my best thinking when I’m just putting one foot in front of the other and breathing the fresh air. I also like to play the piano to get out those feelings that I can’t put into words.

    And congratulations because someone loved this post so much, they added it to the BlogCrush linky! Feel free to collect your “I’ve been featured” blog badge 🙂 #blogcrush

  10. Brilliant tips here. Taking time for myself away from the kids really helps me. I love going to the shops or out for a coffee by myself. Having a night out with my other half and then a lie in the next day can really reset me too! #fortheloveofBLOG


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