Words of advice to my teenage self
Words of advice to my teenage self

Advice to my teenage self

 

My teenage years seem such an age ago. It’s a time I thought I’d left in the history books. However, now I have children I find myself going back there. Being a teenager is hard. You are no longer a small child and are expected to behave like an adult, but yet you are not an adult. You have no adult experiences. Then you also feel that you should be treat like one and can’t understand why you are not. I remember being rather contrary as a teenager. I think it was my way of having an opinion when often I didn’t have an opinion because I didn’t understand! It’s a confusing time as you transition into adulthood. You start to take in what is going on in the world around you.  

I wonder how my children will deal with their teenage years. What will they go through and how will they cope.  I think they have more pressures on them than what my generation did. Their life is on social media. They are subject to a greater scrutiny than we were. The world is competitive and often cruel. I hope that they will be able to see through the cruelty, to have compassion and see the beauty the world has to offer. I want them to be happy and fulfilled.

Looking back I had so many hang ups about myself, unnecessarily. I know that to a large extent my children will find their own way, but if I can pass on any advice to them I will. What happens to us can shape us but it doesn’t have to define us!

If I could go back and give my teenage self some advice it would be this.

  • It doesn’t matter that you don’t fit in. It doesn’t matter that you not in the clever group or the popular group or the sporty or naughty group. You are just you and that’s ok.
  • It doesn’t matter that within your small group of friends you feel you’re the odd one out. You are just you and that is ok.
  • It doesn’t matter that you aren’t achieving the standards expected of you, you have a lot going on at home that nobody knows about. Speak to someone. Let them know you are struggling. Don’t suffer alone.
  • Don’t be scared to ask or answer questions in class. Quite often they are valid.
  • Don’t be afraid of succeeding. It might not be seen as ‘cool’ but ‘cool’ isn’t going to get you anywhere in life.
  • Grab opportunities, if you don’t someone else will. You are good enough and you can do it.
  • It might seem as though everyone has it all figured out but actually they haven’t, in fact I don’t think we ever have it all figured out!
  • Speak up. You have some valid opinions to add to the discussion.
  • Chill out and enjoy having no responsibilities, there’s not many years left until you’ll have loads of responsibilities.
  • School is important, but who you are as a person is more important. Think integrity and values.
  • Don’t give in to pressures from peers. Just because they think it’s a good idea doesn’t mean you have to (I sound like my mother now!). Generally speaking someone who tries to make you do something you don’t want to, has no respect for you. Drop them, they are not your friend.
  • Be like Bob Marley…”Don’t worry, ‘cause every little thing, is gonna be alright.”

 

Mummy Times Two
Pink Pear Bear
Diary of an imperfect mum

30 COMMENTS

  1. I love this post so much. I often wonder what our teenage years would be like if we could go back and just relive them, with the knowledge that we have now. I wonder whether that would make us worry more or less. I certainly wish I could give myself some hindsight advice, though I guess as a headstrong teenager who thought she understood the world, I probably wouldn’t have listened. Thank you so much for sharing this post with us at #PostsFromTheHeart and for take me back to those teenage years.

  2. Such beautiful and sad advice at once. I often think about my daughter as a teenager and hope she doesn’t worry about the same things I did – but she probably will. Those teenage years are tough x

  3. If only we had been experienced enough to accept our own advice back then! Having said that, I’m a firm believer that teens need to make mistakes in order to learn from them, so maybe in a roundabout way we needed to feel those things to learn that we didn’t need to feel those things… if that makes sense!! #bigpinklink

  4. Very well said! These are all things that I really wish that I knew as a teen and I really hope that I can instill the confidence in my children so that they don’t feel as overwhelmed as I did. Thanks for popping by the #bigpinklink

    • Thank you, our teenage years can be so tough sometimes. If there is one thing I hope my children know when they are teenagers is that they can talk to me. Not to keep everything to themselves like I did! x

  5. Yes, if only we realised these pearls of wisdom during our growing up years… life would have been so much easier!!! But as you rightly said, it’s important we let our children know that we are there for them even through those difficult years, as parents and as friends…
    #blogstravaganza

  6. I love this and would say so many of these to my teenage self too, especially the point about speaking up. I was terrible at voicing my opinion and I really feel like I should have done it more often – I think I’m making up for it now though! Thanks so much for linking up to #Blogstravaganza xx

  7. Very good advice! I definitely worry about the teenage years, particularly as you’ve mentioned, with social media. I’ll need to revisit this in around 12 years…!!! #DreamTeam

  8. Very good advice! I definitely worry about the teenage years, particularly as you’ve mentioned, with social media. I’ll need to revisit this in around 12 years…!!! #DreamTeam

  9. This is great advice for teenagers. My daughter is 11 and I know soon she going to want to start doing things on her own and with friends. I have talked to her a lot about peer pressure, I just hope she heeds the advice.
    #fortheloveofBLOG

  10. Great post! Great timing! MY best mama friend and I were just talking about going back to highschool years and teenage hood and what we wish we would have known then! I think the thing that stuck with me that most is that no matter how all absorbing school life is (homework, teachers, clubs, drama). It all ends with graduation and life is never the same. And for the majority of us, this is AMAZING!!!! #KCACOLS

  11. I could’ve used a lot of this advice when I was a teenager, but then, I’m not sure I would’ve taken it in. I think the teenage years are just hard, full of change and anxiety. I think the best we can do as parents is make sure our children know that they can always talk to us about anything and everything. x #KCACOLS

  12. Wow when I think what I’d write to a teenage me! My teenage life was quite different to typical teenagers, undergoing major surgery and spending time being pretty outcast from my peers as I struggled with physio and exhaustion. Hey ho. Interesting to reads and really got me thinking.

    Mustn’t live in the past tho eh.

    #KCACOLS

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