Can having a break make you a better mum?
A Bit of Me Time – Not Mum Time
I’ve written before about having ‘me time’. In a previous post I called it ‘mummy time’ but actually it’s not mummy time it’s me time. Just under a year ago I went away for the weekend with some very close friends. A couple of weeks ago we did it all over again and we are already planning next year’s weekend trip too.
The girls –
Some of the best friends a girl could have. We’re all so different but have so much in common too. We met whilst training as midwives some [gasp] 14 years ago!
The lodge and the location –
Hafan-y-Mor, Pwllheli. The Lodge is pure luxury. You cannot want for anything else during a short break here. The lodge is located on a Haven Caravan site but this lodge is in the owner’s neck of the woods. The lodge boasts uninterrupted views of the coast and the sea. It’s only about a 10 minute walk to reach the beach. With a hot tub on the decking, a fire pit to keep you warm and a barbecue to cook a feast what else do you need except a glass or two of prosecco and some good friends? The lodge is kitted out with all the luxuries you should expect, bath robes, towels, games, playstation, Netflix, toiletries, a coffee machine and twinkly lights (there’s even condiments, tea bags and coffee in the cupboard, no missing out on your sauce on your bacon butties).
The lodge is spacious with 3 bedrooms (2 double and 1 twin) there are 2 shower and toilet rooms, one of which is an en suite to a bedroom accessed via a walk in wardrobe!
I keep saying it but I am going to bring my family here. The facilities in the main area of the Haven site are a 10 minute walk from the lodge and are very family orientated. However I do believe a spa is to be built in time for summer 2018…yes please.
Back to having some ‘me time’. Some have branded the idea selfish. Some say that once you bring children into this world you give up your right to having time to yourself. But I have to disagree. I think we all need some time away from the kids, even if it’s just an hour or two. I don’t think it means you love them any less just because you need to have some time alone. As parents we are constantly putting the needs of our children and partners first and that is ok on the whole, but sometimes we need to down tools and take time out for ourselves.
Thankfully I have a partner that is more than capable of coping with the kids on his own and understands my need for a little time away. It is funny though how many times people asked us ‘how will he cope?’. Ok, of course I like to think that they can’t possibly survive without me but he’s a good dad, he’s hands on and does a great job keeping them entertained. That’s probably because he’s a big kid himself.
That weekend away allowed me to recharge. I was able sit quietly with only my own thoughts and no interruptions. I got to unwind and chat with good friends, again uninterrupted. I even went for a run on the coastal path with nothing but the clothes on my back, the wind in my hair and beautiful views (not a nappy bag in sight and even stranger – no phone – gasp!).
We all needed it. My friends have their own troubles and getting together without the kids allowed us to really off load. Once the off loading was done, we began to unwind. We actually didn’t do that much. We had a gorgeous walk along the coast, a dip in the on site swimming pool and numerous dips in the hot tub with cocktails courtesy of Kingsland drinks. Not doing much was vital in my opinion.
The cocktail, just in case you need some inspiration for a lovely refreshing summer drink was crushed raspberries with crushed ice, a squeeze of lime juice, a shot of vodka and topped up with Willow & Stone Sparkling Rosé. Truly delicious and perfect for sipping whilst in a hot tub.
I love my family and cherish every moment we have together. Whilst away I did wonder what they were up to, if they were having fun and if they missed me. I loved our little moments of FaceTime. I missed them and couldn’t wait to see them, but I needed that break.
Overtime the same routines, the same daily activities and the same battles can on occasion leave me consumed with tension and frustration. The daily battles begin to cloud my mind and make it harder to focus on all the amazing things in my life. Sometimes I even find myself struggling to make simple decisions, like what we should have for tea or which order to get things done. I’ll find myself procrastinating for so long nothing gets done and I’ll wonder where my get up and go attitude has gone. Sometimes I get snappy at the kids when there is no real call for it. Some days I feel like a really bad mum.
Having some time away allowed me to refocus my thoughts and energy positively. I have to add here that I really think the exercise I’ve been doing has contributed to me being able to focus better and feel better about myself in general but the weekend break really made a difference. I don’t think having a little break is selfish at all, for me it makes me a better parent.
On return from my little break I was welcomed home by my OH and my son with a beaming smile and an excited wriggle and shriek (from my son that is, my OH was smiling too!). Hugs all round and then I went to pick my daughter up from school. She runs out and gives me the biggest hug and tells me she missed me…then she asks “where’s daddy?”
Please note we were sent the Willow & Stone Sparkling Rosé for review purposes. The holiday lodge was paid for by ourselves.