7 Things NOT to say to a pregnant woman.
Being pregnant or a new mum is hard enough. In my opinion compliments rather than judgements go down a lot better. If they want your opinion or help they will ask for it. If you want to help, read on and avoid these.
- “Wow you’re huge! or You must be near your due date you’re massive!”
Really! Would you say this to a non pregnant person? I’m guessing the answer is no? So why say it to a hormonal pregnant woman, unless you want a slap in the face that is! Every woman carries their baby differently. Some show earlier than others. Most women having their second or third baby will show earlier. I’ve seen many women have small compact bumps and have a good size baby. I’ve seen women with larger bumps and have smaller or normal size babies. We all come in different shapes and sizes and no woman, especially hormonal pregnant women want to be judged by their size. A pregnant woman will be having regular antenatal check ups and any size issue will be addressed there, not by you!
What you should say – What a lovely bump. You really suit being pregnant. How are you and baby?
2. “Are you going to have ‘natural birth’?”
Firstly, labour takes its own course with many factors influencing the birth. Factors which often we cannot control. Secondly, it’s non of your business. Thirdly, what do you mean by natural? Isn’t a baby being born, by whichever means natural? Sometimes women have to have a cesarean for reasons that again are non of your business. On this note, I wish people wouldn’t refer to birth ‘plans’ – you cannot plan it. Instead have ‘preferences’.
3. “Are you going to breastfeed?”
A woman’s choice of feeding option is just that – her own choice. Breastfeeding can be so difficult and some mothers feel an awful pressure to get this one right. The last thing they need is to perceive more pressure by people asking which method she will adopt.
4. “That’s a small/big gap between children.”
I’ve never understood why people comment on this! Is there a right or wrong age gap? Small gap or big gap does it really matter? Some people plan their babies and the age gap for their own reasons. For others planning is out of their hands, IVF, miscarriage, accidents etc.
5. “How old are now? You’ve left it a bit late haven’t you?”
How very dare you say this! Again, choice may not have been an option here. The couple may have been through IVF or suffered loss in a previous pregnancy. It may be that they hadn’t met anyone they wanted children with earlier – and in my opinion, good on them for being picky.
6. “Was it planned?”
So what, it happened!
7. “The movements slow down at the end of pregnancy, don’t worry about it”
NOPE, WRONG ANSWER! If a pregnant woman confides in you that her baby has been quiet or not moved as much as normal, tell her to call/go to the maternity unit and get an assessment. I know you would rather say words of reassurance but saying this could potentially end in devastation. A healthy baby’s movements do not slow down towards the end of pregnancy.
What annoying things have people said to you whilst pregnant?
Please share them with us in the comments.